


I’m sorry, I’m sorry

by LabrynthDecipheringGame



Category: DreamSMP
Genre: Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Based off a song, Based on a Vocaloid Song, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gomenne Gomenne, HELP THAT LAST TAG IS ME, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, kikuo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29125824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LabrynthDecipheringGame/pseuds/LabrynthDecipheringGame
Summary: It was the first time Tommy had felt it. The need to make someone happy, even when deep down he knew something wasn’t right.His big brother didn’t look like the kind, sweet big brother he once looked up to. But if he spoke up about it, he would disappoint him.And he knew the consequences of making his older brother angry.Content warning for mentions of:S//cideManipulationand panic attacksIf I need to tag anything else please tell me in the comments ;;
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo/TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Dream, TommyInnit & Philza Minecraft, TommyInnit & Technoblade, Tommyinnit & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	I’m sorry, I’m sorry

_**He reaches a hand for me.  
Then a kiss on my forehead.  
I don’t think I mean a lot.   
But if it makes Willby happy**…_

It was the first time Tommy had felt it. The need to make someone happy, even when deep down he knew something wasn’t right. His big brother didn’t look like the kind, sweet big brother he once looked up to. But if he spoke up about it, he would disappoint him.   
_And he knew the consequences of making his older brother angry._

**_I’m sorry, after all, I don’t have a good feeling.  
An old friend told me that.   
Even though my collapsed body is pitiful,   
he kindly reaches out a hand._ **

He had just been exiled from his nation. The nation he made. The nation they made. Tubbo, his best friend, the person he trusted the most, had just completely pushed him away from everyone. He was completely alone.   
That’s when Dream came. And even though inside of him he knew Dream manipulated him, and constantly hurt him and made him feel useless, he accepted it. He wouldn’t dare disobey Dream’s orders after everything he had done for him.   
_And he also knew the consequences of disobeying Dream._

So when his masked ‘friend’ found out about his hideout and exploded it all, he didn’t blame him. He deserved it. He had been a bad friend. He had lied to Dream.

**_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I must be a bad boy  
So forgive me, forgive poor little me I’m sorry, goodbye old friend, I’m a bad guy for running away from Dream   
I’m sorry, forgive me for hiding from you._ **

He ran away. Tommy ran to the only people he knew he could rely on. His family. Despite leaving him alone, neglecting him, never actually worrying for him, and betraying him, Tommy had no other place to go. He wanted comfort. He needed comfort. And Techno and Phil had it, but he didn’t want to annoy them. _He knew the consequences of that, as well._

**_Big brother hides me in this house He opens a box and lets me in Without hurting me,  
he treats me gently even though my collapsed body is ugly._ **

Techno, the eldest of the three brothers, had his smaller brother in a box, protecting his vulnerable self from Dream. He was completely defenseless without them, he knew. But did he deserve it? Did he deserve being treated like this? He escaped from Dream after all. He had betrayed his family _too.  
And he knew the consequences of betraying them all too well._

**_I’m sorry, that’s not a good feeling I have  
big brother must hate me   
My collapsed body gives a bad feeling and it can be kept on file,   
and it’s the end._ **

It was the end. Tommy felt it that way, at least. As he stood at the cliff, looking down, then looking back at Dream, then closing his eyes, and just remembering. Lmanberg, his family, Fundy growing up, Tubbo, his best friend, Philza, Techno, Wil-   
Willbur.   
He was now Ghostbur. The sweet, innocent shadow of his once corrupted brother. Would Wilbur be upset right now? Seeing him like this? Or would empathize with him, because he once also asked to be killed? He thought about Ghostbur a last time. He didn’t want Ghost to be sad once he was gone.  
 _He knew the consequences of that pretty well by now._

But he jumped, anyways.

_**I’m sorry, I’m sorry,  
I must be a bad boy   
So forgive me, forgive lonely little me   
I’m sorry, goodbye, I’m a bad guy for returning to Dream   
I’m sorry, forgive me for not being able to love my cruel savior.** _

It all happened too fast for him to register. Tubbo was about to die. 

_“What am I without you?!”_

_“Yourself.”_

Dream was going to kill his best friend. The only person he had left. Until, out of nowhere, support had come, and they won. They had won. After all these years. It was over.

But Dream wasn’t dead, he was in jail. He was in jail because Tommy didn’t kill him. And he didn’t kill him because he could bring Wilbur back. But Wilbur didn’t want to go back to being a human. Ghostbur hated, despised Alivebur. Because he had made the people he loved hurt.

Tommy and Wil fought, but Tommy never forced his older brother to do anything. So he walked back home after celebrating with Tubbo. He didn’t want to piss off his brother anymore. _  
He knew_ the consequences of pissing him off.

 ** _When he came home, Papa was with a lot of people._** Actually, it wasn’t a lot. Just Philza, Techno and Wilbur. The family. But for a reason, it was too many people for Tommy’s mind to register.

 _ **They said they knew I’d win.**_ They were proud of him, cherishing him. Why? He had done nothing but follow a plan. He didn’t deserve this.

“I won’t take all the credits for this though!”  
Tommy said, trying to fake a laugh and stop listening to the voices in his head.

“Cmon Toms, suck it up! You oughta learn that you matter! What, don’t you trust your brother’s words?”  
Techno said.

He never meant any harm. But it triggered every single memory on Tommy’s head.  
First Wilbur, then Tubbo, then Dream. One after the other one, the words crept onto his mind. He couldn’t breathe.

_**They said they wanted to hurt my collapsed body until the end.** _

“no...”  
It came first as a whisper.

“Tommy? What’s wrong?”  
Wilbur was the first to speak, knowing full well his brother wasn’t okay.  
  
“No..”  
Then it was a mumble.

“Hey mate, what’s going on?”  
Then it was Philza, his voice barely getting to Tommy’s disturbed ears.

“NO..”  
His voice now sounded like he was about to seriously snap.  
Everyone was tense.

“Toms?,”  
Techno stood up, walking towards him. “Are you okay?”

“NO.”  
And then he screamed, the dam broke, and he was sobbing violently on the floor.

_**I’m sorry I’m sorry I must be a really bad boy forgive me, forgive little poor little me I’m sorry, am I not good enough? That’s how it feels to use a toy for too long I’m sorry, even though it hurts I’m satisfied.** _

He looked around. He saw Philza looking at him concerned. He heard Techno mumbling something. He felt Wilbur’s touch, sitting next to him. Were they going to hurt him? He didn’t want to be hurt. But he couldn’t fight anymore. His ears felt like they were going to explode.

So he started shouting, not listening to anyone _else._

 _“I-I’m sorry I-I’m sorry! I must be a bad boy-“_  
He choked out, a scream of pain.  
“ _So please- please forgive me-_ “  
He pleaded .  
Was he really being this pathetic?  
“ _I’m- I’m sorry! Even though it hu-hurts- as long as I am helpful and I’m good enough, I’m happy!”_  
He could feel someone grip his wrists. Just now he had realized he was hurting his head pretty badly.  
 _“Everyone please just play with everything but my heart.. “_

And that was it. He then choked on tears, not feeling anything other than emptiness. Everything was quiet, cold, there were no lights, no screams, no touch. He was scared, but at the same time, it felt like heaven. He finally shut everything away.

At least for a while. Tommy felt something pressed against his forehead. It felt heavy, but it also felt.. oddly calming. He realized it was wet. It was a wet towel. The next thing he registered was a huge coat wrapping him. It was Wilbur’s coat. And next to him was Wilbur himself, drinking tea as he stared out at the window.

“W-Wil?”  
He softly let out, his brother’s attention shifting completely towards him. But it wasn’t his cruel, crazy energy, or his naive and dead one. It felt comforting, alive, and strong. His presence felt different, he felt like a new person.

He realized he was then wrapped around Wilbur’s arms, as he soothingly ran his hands through his hair.

Tommy couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper, thinking that maybe, just maybe, things were getting better.

After what felt like hours, Philza and Techno entered the room and sat on a chair next to the bed Tommy apparently laid on.  
They each had a cup with some soup, drinking it slowly, not saying a word. But this silence, this moment, made Tommy feel safe. He finally looked up to his brothers and dad, and they looked back. A happy, determined smile. The nodded at each other, and then kept eating.

And Tommy realized, then, that Dream was in great danger _because..  
The consequences of messing with their family were the most severe of all._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This time I bring a Dreamsmp work because I have brainriot and I am projecting™️ It might be a little ooc but that’s kinda the intention since it’s self protecting and it’s my work?? LOLL ANYWAYS let me know if you like it and would want to read more 👀 this work is based off the Kikuo song Gomenne Gomenne cuz i’m a sucker for it
> 
> *Edit*  
> THANKS YALL IN THE COMMENTS FOR CORRECTING ME WITH THE TAGS LMFAO IM SO NEW TO THIS PLATFORM IM LOOSING MY SHIT


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